Seeing Family at Thanksgiving Funny Sayings
Johnny Carson on Thanksgiving reunions
"Thanksgiving is an emotional fourth dimension. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they come across just once a year. And so detect once a year is way likewise oftentimes."—Johnny Carson
Nicole Hollander on Thanksgiving leftovers
"Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out."—Nicole Hollander
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Kevin James on Thanksgiving attire
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good solar day to be my pants."—Kevin James
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Phyllis Diller on prepping the turkey
"I took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak."—Phyllis Diller
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Erma Bombeck on Thanksgiving gravy
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."—Erma Bombeck
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Jim Gaffigan on Thanksgiving traditions
"The Thanksgiving tradition is, nosotros overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'Just we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we swallow a lot with people that annoy the hell out of u.s.?"—Jim Gaffigan
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Mitch Hedberg on types of turkey
"If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long plenty, you start to get mad at turkey. At that place'due south turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, only exist yourself."—Mitch Hedberg
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Jim Davis on the Thanksgiving menu
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot block, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie."—Jim Davis
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Ted Nugent on turkeys as a species
"If y'all desire to relieve a species, simply decide to eat it. Then information technology volition be managed—similar chickens, similar turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese."—Ted Nugent
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Rita Rudner on home cooking
"Most turkeys taste better the 24-hour interval subsequently; my mother'due south tasted ameliorate the solar day before." —Rita Rudner (Sounds like these Thanksgiving turkey tips could come in handy!)
Kenny Rogerson on hunting your ain Thanksgiving turkey
"Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?"—Kenny Rogerson
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George Carlin on alternate Thanksgiving meals
"We're having something unlike this yr for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, nosotros're having a swan. You get more stuffing."—George Carlin
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Richard Roeper on the holiday season
"Fifty-fifty though nosotros're a calendar week and a one-half away from Thanksgiving, information technology'south beginning to look a lot similar Christmas."—Richard Roeper
Pretty soon, it'll be time for these funny holiday jokes!
Jay Leno on overeating at Thanksgiving
"You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out."—Jay Leno
Not feeling the attitude of gratitude this yr? Here are 30+ reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving.
Carl Sagan on apple tree pie recipes
"If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you lot must starting time invent the universe."—Carl Sagan
Psst—these are the best apples for apple pie!
Andre Kelley on Thanksgiving firsts
"I got to go habitation for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults' table. That'due south 'cause, you know, somebody had to dice for me to movement up a plate."—Andre Kelley
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Michael Dresser on Thanksgiving equally patriotism
"Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty."—Michael Dresser
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Irv Kupcinet on optimism
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." —Irv Kupcinet
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Howie Mandel on existence s of the border for American Thanksgiving
"I'one thousand from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'thousand thankful for that?"
Check out more hilarious jokes from Canada'southward top comedians.
Stephen Colbert on the spirit of Thanksgiving
"Thanksgiving is a magical time of twelvemonth when families across the country join together to raise obesity statistics." —Stephen Colbert
If you enjoyed these funny Thanksgiving quotes, don't miss this side-splitting roundup of Butterball turkey help line calls!
Originally Published: October 08, 2021
Source: https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/funny-thanksgiving-quotes/
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